The thing that made me question everything I knew about reality and the world, on both sides of being saved and heathenish was

…Finding out the person that had literally dragged my ass out of Ohio to New York City on his back for its own good(mah ass), to live my dreams almost 30 years ago…was also the first person who got my ass to malevolently pop off like I used to and hadn’t IN 20 years {by time of explosion, at him, mind you} almost 10 years ago… because they hadn’t recognized who the fuck I was to them 10 years ago. Which was 5 years…before I recognized who the fuck they were now and had already been then to me… the aforementioned 30 years ago.