When it happened today I understood it.

I’m in seminar mode and yesterday before it I went on a milk run that turned into a big, meditative walk.

½ into yesterday’s session I felt compelled to go do something else but saw the usurping move & decided that it could only be happening because there’s a kernel of truth reflexively in there. Otherwise my body would’ve felt differently.

It came on the heels of a big breakthrough, too.

So I leaned in. Consciously. Went on a errand with God to little Tokyo and walked back. Talking it out.

I was wiring it in.

To my body.

Fully awake.

I saw the turn. I saw the patterned response & the target. & what it was- what I was unconsciously working against that I’d already done. As I was walking out having chosen differently.

Outside looking in, I “did it wrong.” I shoulda stayed with the flow of the seminar.

But that would’ve been wrong for me. I didn’t use to listen to myself when the nudge to pause in other sessions occurred. Then I’d be dialing it in after the fact, rewatching to catch what I’d missed because my brain, my mind was sucking the marrow out of a bone of strategy that truly meant something to me and my Why for being there.

Hier, I came back with the insights and action plans loaded into my muscles…& pressed rewind on the live back to where I stopped. I tuned in fully present and oxygenated.

Today in all of it he was talking about Jim Rohn and Schwarzkopf… & was kneading it in:

Never leave the site of a goal without taking some form of action towards it’s attainment.

The seminar continued. & a goal solidified in me during that time.

There’s a hotel pool outside my window currently. I was listening and looking out this window. & suddenly I understood it.

I needed to swim.

The building’s pool is different than the one that had inspired me. But I popped up, pulled on a bikini and headed to it.

The dogs didn’t even bark at my departure .

There’s an entire volume of stories told to myself over the years about swimming I won’t even go into. I will say that one of the biggest mental blocks I ever exploded in my life was it. Which amplified the meaning being given to all of this. I’ve swam here 3x before this. But this was so much different.

Because of what I knew I was doing. Wiring it in.

I didn’t clock the time. But it was a good 20 minutes. Practicing things learned the one time I went & found a coach for it, in South beach, after learning in the ocean by myself.

Today ? There was no rewind. Because I have paused it.

I’m understanding my own kinestheticism.

In ways I hadn’t before.