Covert narcs keep people they are secretly jealous of on the periphery of their lives for decades+. Those people never see’em coming, even if they are only around because They themselves are carnivorous.  Gilbert was probably jealous of Rayya for their entire friendship, even tho She was the rich one.

Think about it. Both were married. She made her career from blowing up her marriage. So her going there again is just whine for the (de)press(ed)/wine for the press.

 But wasn’t the 1st thing she did here was get Rayya to destroy her sober relationship?  

She’d known her 20+yrs… but didn’t make her move until she thought she’d die fast anyway. She doused her with drugs to speed it up & as a disposable body shielding her own desire to drug the fuck out because all that earlier success cauterized her inside, addicted to that attention though she was.

&then when those who actually loved Rayya begged her to stick around, this rich woman didn’t effortlessly pay for round the clock care for this woman she loved.  So that she could have a peaceful passing with friends & family intact. 

No. She Took Rayya’s real friends & family back into an experience of Rayya at her worst, a worst they’d already survived  with her. She was tellingly trying to steal the decades of sobriety Rayya’d pulled off with them away,  so they’d only remember her as a junkie. 

She did it for the… no other way to say this…junkie sex. &I’m calling her that,  not the woman in  recovery she plotted & enacted the downfall of. She was the junkie. It was never love. It was virulent consumptive envy Of her light even After having recovered. She was addicted to the jealousy that rose up in Her watching people respond positively to the light Rayya shined with Even when famous writer ‘her’ was around. That even factors into why she “hired” her. Kept her close. It was keeping that light nearby so others could think the light was Gilbert’s. 

That’s why she tried to put her ‘ back in the gutter ‘ After the only thing that made her back off of attempted murder was her target’s suspicion. Not love.  Not my God whaaaat am I doing.

 It’s in her Jealous anger Rayya’s ex got her sober After she’d discarded her & helped her cross.

& the pArt no one is talking about is how…After Rayya died… she went on to…Fuck Rayya’s Male best friend. 

She was hellbent on consuming every bit of Rayya’s  Light left behind,  or at least tainting that light in everyone left behind.  She demeaningly demanded Rayya’s light had the residue of Gilbert’s taint. Because after 20 yrs of plotting her friend’s downfall it took licking hers to fully pull it off. Yeah, I said it. Fuck,  Gilbert wrote a book saying it.

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It’s nothing but the antics of a typical, empty, consumptive spirit, a fucking hungry ghost in the bardo no matter the riches this world gives these kind of people. 

She wanted to consume. But  it was a hunger never satisfied.  So of course she wrote this book. She’s still trying to eat off of Rayya. She’s trying to eat Rayya.

& she Wants the outrage. So she can feed off of it too. It’s “brave” along the same way what’s afoot in the highest office is construed as brave to those who eat the same …food. 

Those who love the book… are telling you not just who… but WHAT… they are. 
 Heed it.
Don’t get angry. 

See them.  They don’t want to hide feeding off of people anymore. They want to eat you… with you being conscious of what they are as you tangle with them. They’re tired of pandering to mores. They’re done with the dance.

Those with eyes to see saw they were with those pink hats descending on DC in silent IYKYK solidarity with round one of what the country is in round two of.

They wished it on other women. All that has happened. Some only subconsciously back then. Others had no idea that the brunt of that crowd was jealous of the independence those unawares “got” to live it up in life basking in. No idea that the pink pussy caps shoulder to shoulder with them wanted to smash their rights and watch them crumble at close range, as friends…as perceived comrades.

Wished…a variant of the…

The kind of downfall Gilbert tried to “bless” her best friend with.

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Rayya was “supposed to be sucked, ” as those like Gilbert angrily say about anyone with real light getting away.

In fact…many who you see strung out on drugs as adults end up there after lives of being victimized due to sickos targeting their natural light. Especially those who end up there trying to self-medicate after suffering abuse as children. Inability to recover from those attacks affect many who end up where Gilbert tried to shuck Rayya.

Those teething to blot little kids’ lights out via abuse operate out of the same insane head Gilbert waves proudly in all of this.

Rayya was meant to be a sacrifice to what folks like Gilbert serve & worship.

That’s the why-for For the shorn head, by the way.

…she didn’t get to place Rayya’s broken body on the altar of degradation she’d built for her that demanded drugging her up and kicking her out. So she wrote a book about it. Instead. As an offering of meat all the same to what she serves. that still leaves her starved.

Gilbert is …still tellingly trying to Steal… the healed and sober {again} way…God, Rayya’s family & friends… helped her be able to cross. In outrage.

So… what am I really saying?

Believe women.

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The enabler is always waiting for the big dog to be worn down enough to become the feast they put up with all that abuse for in that kind of dance.

Believe the psychosis Gilbert is showcasing baldly to the world.

Then look around your world…for tells.

Especially… for anyone giving you access to something you both know could kill you just for the sport of watching you die from the poison from over-ingesting it.

Real Talk? I have no furor towards Gilbert.

I spent my mid 20s whacking the inverse of people like her off of myself in the pit of money I fell into once I realized slapping the word paradise on it didn’t clear out the snakes. & once out, I wasted so much time knocking that spirit off of the other errantly vulnerable, inadvertently arrogant creatives who I gave a fuck about who were systematically being set up to be cannibalized at close range by those on their payroll until their gifts were stripped;

In my 30s I recognized that many of those creatives were willfully setting themselves up to be eaten…simply because they hated that where they’d fought so hard to arrive to was what it actually was once the glamour faded….and had been programmed to believe there was nowhere else to go so they may as well “make the best of it”… and I got the fuck out of dodge. Which kicked off wars over the audacity of refusal;

& it wasn’t until my 40s that I realized that those moneyed creatives I knew on the periphery of my existence had often willfully devoured others in plain sight of those that eventually relished eating them alive… getting them strung out, keeping them medicated by any means necessary…robbing them blind. All of it.

I just turned 50.

& at 50… I understand… that what Gilbert is doing this for… deeper than the hungry ghost shit… is a coming out party of sorts.

She KNOWS she isn’t the only one. She wants to find the Other hers. Just…Like everybody else does.

So at 50… all I have to give is:

• This is Who…WHAT…she is.
• She is looking for her tribe.
• She desires communion with other spiritual flesh feasters.
  • But Her particular… chapter of them. generalized vampirism is no longer enough. Many energy vampires abhor blood but have suffered through all that comes with those folks for the grace of seeming proximity.

…see that for what it is.

& if you are it…do what you gotta do to let that woman know she’s not alone in her Vampirism. She’s starving for true coherence in this.

But if you are not it…

CLEAN YOUR HOUSE of those wired like them…

Know a harbinger’s trumpet when you hear it…and move while you still can.

-AB