GB Meanwhile in America: Diving off the green, deep end…

These days greens are an everyday thing for a broad spectrum of folks. People have built up all kinds of Celery cultic mysteries , kale compound mindsets and the like.

&I’m here for it, no matter how crazy the clean carb acolytes can be when squaring off with one another in the aisles of better health & wellness.

Ya can’t really argue with a chick whose ass is technically 50 years old but, sans botox, fillers & retinol she’s highbeaming Through her skin due to keeping up with pounding damn near a gallon or two of celery juice every week for 8 years after hmming the trend at 42. You sit at that chick’s feet & growl “give me the deets~” if you have any wisdom in you.

To each their own.


I cycle through seasons and casual courses of chlorella and spirulina (separately) every year. Re-up my levels.

Spirulina-wise, I have since 2008, down in south beach as a purist, but I was rocking with Spirutein’s green smoothie mix as The perfect hangover cure since my clubhead days at the turn of the 21st century.

Chlorella became my melancholy Lost in Translation mainstay after being introduced to it by a dear friend in Tokyo in 2000.

20 years before the recent & current clinical trials, I knew chlorella knocked depression the fuck up offa ya by personal experience. Japan Still has the most potent brands of it.

#notadoctor & not a fan of “medicine ” that lies to my brain &says all is well when it’s not. These ships are made for healing…and the modalities to do so are literally in our hands.

person s hands in the water
Photo by Elizaveta Dushechkina on

I’m not talking the elegantly unhinged, quasi unhappily highend ” heal your system/ highest bidder” rigamarole, either. Rich folks get fleeced by fillers all the time in the nutraceuticals sphere.

I’m very much like “make your money, playa… but give the Intel so those who can’t afford you can still be inspired by the wellness M.O., to dive deeper wherever they’re starting this journey, overall.”

The point is motivating folks to move the needle towards personal wellness. The more each of us tend to our actual gardens, the better our societal streets will get by default.

I don’t fangirl over Gwyneth’s goop but I do give her props in the wellness sector for talking about shit that became source material in the sphere about five years out as soon as she launched that juggernaut.

Now~ Am I going to drop ridiculous bank to go experience the shall we say bespoke, goop-esque steamy potpourri vag whathaveyous? …Well, seeing as though the name of this brook is…I am much more likely to hole up in a real Asian to its roots spa &Virgo veneration the fuq out overall, inclusively-speaking. But the global beauty Intel she’s been riffing on many a time has been legit, if quietly non descriptive on the surface. But that may have more to do with target market than intent. But once again, to each their own. Some chicks can only hear the gospel from those who look like her, or with someone mediating their intro to the healing pool. & that’s fine.

Point is(back on topic 😬), starting out?

Use wisdom, read your labels and go for as pure a product you can get at your price point.

Just like in the adaptogenic mushrooms sector, there are simple green juice and powder products with no fillers on Amazon that run circles around the better known , pricey brands marketing to you like mad at every turn.

& Tis the season, so I’ll prefix this next bit with “Globalboho & Glyph are still both Virgo aspects~”

If you’re not ready for pure strength, no chaser, punch you in the face, green as fuck “dear god why am I doing this to myself?!” Taste sensations, the most genteel gateway to point folks to is Amazing Grass.

Amazing grass has a full assortment to gently grow your green legs, green novice to nutter.

Okay- I’ve gone on a bit about intro options to start soothing your system with the color green, but the one I swear by go-to-wise (due to Keto being my …welll~ we’re casual about it…but we both know I’m marrying it…lifestyle soulmate husband to a tee) …is chlorophyll.

& that’s where it gets tricky.

Here’s the thing: a few drops of actual, unsweetened chlorophyll in a cup of water doesn’t really have a taste. You’ll get a nose whiff of green, more than anything.

BUT~ A lot of liquid chlorophyll products on the market put in fake sweetener, fake or real mint or Stevia on good days, because they have convinced the public that they can’t handle the taste of chlorophyll straight. & these variants? They taste like you’re chugging a bad mouthwash. Not the burning, good kind one misses when one finds out what’s In them. The horrendous ones.

But why would they do that as a wellness outfit?

Because overall, the human animal has been tricked into thinking it’s a punk ass, that for us to take in a any green juice that it has to have some sort of sugar pill IN it, be it via Gmo’d apples, carrots or beets, or chemically sweet derivatives to make it sweeter.

Which is fine starting out. Considering where most are starting.

But what that’s actually doing is not preparing you for greener pastures of healing & health… it’s tricking your system into keeping meandering down the same pathways it does on a bottle of soda . It’s propping the door to a slippery slope wide open.

That’s why so many of these juice companies are being acquired by the likes of coca cola & then having their formulations compromised.

It always seemed handlerbar mustache twisting dastardly to buy a clean juice company just to not have that as a beverage option Available in the market. But sugar addiction is big business, the boldest drug cartel out there, considering what too much of it does to the body & mind.

They’re still f****** around with your pocket via the sugar aspect your system is strung out on, just now at the higher price point you’ve become willing to pay for a “good juice,” thinking you’re doing something good for yourself.

Back to the greenlight~

Between Chlorophyll, Spirulina and chlorella your system could recalibrate at speeds that would boggle the mind. Like “shirking off the synthetic skin that forms around you when you’re popping all kinds of pharmaceutical stuff to numb you from your system shutting down in sectors” speeds.

At the behest of non-holistic medicine practicing doctors so many are staying sick that can do that ” food be thy medicine “walk for real.

Let thy food be thy medicine, thy medicine be thy food.


Lots already are doing passively just that in a darker sense…by self-medicating with trash food they’ve been convinced is all that’s on offer, or all that “helps”.

It just takes a flip.

Recognize… even when it doesn’t feel like it…your body is a ship…you are operating in a system… that actually fucking Loves you. & wants to help you heal. YOU. Realize how much they have to do to the building blocks we naturally run off of to make them bad for us.

…and then get as back to basics as you can, small steps at a time if you know you can’t handle a full system overhaul. The desire, observed is the first touchstone.

You seeing the desire to heal your system holistically changes your observable field. It’s physics. Things that can help you get into it, things that you never noticed, that are well within reach will start to register where you were once blinded by passively sitting numb within whichever sickness or dis-ease you first tackle.

And the O.G. big dawgs are eyeing you as you do.

Watching you make your moves.

Like apex predators.

tiger sitting on grass
Photo by Vignesh on

Wheatgrass[with barley grass as it’s occasional consigliere]…is Gangster.

Full Stop.

Wheatgrass is the meanest good for you hippie you’ll ever meet.

Folks vanish pounding Wheatgrass.

THEY Just ghost the fuck out into the “egads! Gulp it down!” geterDone Veldt!

They start casually buying the lil blocks of it at co-ops &farmers markets…until windowsills look like farms in Kansas,

…buying the leetle “your soul is miine~!” Sausage maker adjacent macerator-

Wheatgrass can get you in Dennis Hopper in Apocalypse now mode, actively proselytizer mode, evangelical about it.

It’s hilarious how no joke Wheatgrass can truly be.

Because it works.

… which is why my course this bday year was chlorella, spirulina, chlorophyll…& Now it to start the 48th circle.

I have leisurely prepared for this upcoming segway.

That’s why the good4ulattes are… Being used as mediators.

Easing me into the long haul.

I…gotta respect the dragon t-rex about to be ridden.