I used to be one of them. Those “why you got dem dawgs in that baby stroller?” Folks.
& I have gotten so used to giving dads the side eye when i’d see a family ambling along & the mom was wrangling the baby And the carriage on shoddy sidewalks After giving fucking birth, his ass ambling like a spoiled teen boy Having to tag along. I was just fulla virgoan judgment and contempt for him being useless in broad daylight yet procreating-
I’m talking vitriolic, wanting to slap a smoothie out dude’s hand last time and squeal “Help Your Fucking Wife! PILoT it! It’s an fn Machine, you fuck!” an inch from his nose… level disgust with these “new dudes.”
But now- lolol…umm…
I have acquired a bit of nuance.
Not just because it is VERY HARD to resist popping wheelies with baby carriages in real time to get up hills even when ya have a vagine (🤦🏾♀️😁)… so those disgruntled, pouty dudes might be on time-outs due to not being able to resist…
But because maneuvering baby carriages AND multiple dawgs is spatial insanity that I was not expecting it To be lol.
It was an unexpected steep learning curve… that just gives me so much more respect for mothers Doing this.
I am the most flagrantly laidback virgo there is but let me tell you all the problem-solving lederhosen was soooo slipped into.
Like “Oh no, spatially this is just off, this part needs to be taller, these parts need to be sturdier-“
I’m fn walking around getting the dawgs to march in time, redesigning the entire baby stroller for fn Amazons.
Truly, I tell you…this was…shit i Never thought I’d be thinking about lol. New synaptic real estate.
The cart, the 2 dogs, covering them so their neurons arent shot…traffic, horns, curbs-& the one it was all for would leap out of it like escaping Alcatraz every time.
I went from first child to 2nd child energy really quickly. & she was like “Yaaaaaaarrrr! Not a baby! Imma big girl!!gaaaahhhh!”
After her dad said what he did her & I went straight weird science. It was so much fun! Dawg Bjorning, lax leashing, all of it! & she was like “yaaaaassss!bitch!”
Her Dad was like “Omg-you really are the Dog Whisperer! ” after having her back 24hrs lol.
I get the wheelies TEMPTATIONS but now that I know what it took to get sealegs with it…
There needs to be baby stroller HIIT for dads to be.
Car seat HIIT, laundry Separation HIIT, knowing diaper size kiddos on site the easy way yall can for engines & guns and flux capacitors- all that …fuck tha dude sitting that out like the dna donation is IT- we’re using allll those skill sets of yours too or keep yer cooties lol.
Dads need to be able to pack baby bags in 90 secs flat-TIMED,motherfuckers-& have backup baby bags at key points throughout the territory! NOT birthing bags- that’s a one off. I’m talking until these little people crazy enough to pick Us are 6 years old, pops! Bottles to whatever they’ll be getting in lieu of capri-suns!
We kids were packing our lunches by 1st grade- some of this shit Should be automated lolol as early as possible- but it was Dad teaching us as he did it – he worked alot of 2nd & 3rd shift gigs when we were young. My mom worked for General Electric but she was raised a princess, the youngest girl. My dad had 5 surviving brothers & 6 sisters. He came in raising armies of kids to get them out the door.
I can’t BUHLIEVE these dad dudes have gotten Away with this weaponized incompetence shit After their chicks brought their bigheaded kids onto this plane.