Steep Saturdaze & the surreality of sweet 2nd chances |

person holding green canabis Photo by Aphiwat chuangchoem on

should be subtly subtitled: CBD and me.

What a difference a…few years, a pandemic, gallivanting up and down the California coast with god as the only net…and a cracked open shell of fascia makes.

I first tried cbd infused bites in 2018, and it was nightmarish, physically speaking. I fucked with hemp. I have dry skin and hemp oil was a game changer for me once I discovered the organic greenish liquid- it healed a lot of things that otherwise I would have had to go to all kinds of like pharmaceutical stuff for. But I was never a smoker.

And I came out of the other side of trying those bites really just feeling bad for anybody who felt so bad that where that stuff took me was better, if that makes any sense.


Now I know it was because I had such a rigid thing going on in the structure of my system [read: survival mode, mentally. Impenetrable, physically] that it couldn’t permeate and do the kinesthetic things that it needed to do. X. The psychological stuff was just like ” yeah, this is depressing‐why do this to you?”

but years later on the road- I have not played with the bites since, but I did go on an explorer kick with the gummies at the top of 2022 with a friend that was Hilarious. It was not his wheelhouse either…which is hard to come by out here lol.

But yeah…Big, bad trip the first time.

Ironically enough, the place that I got those first bites- was at the farmers market in Marina del Rey. First Globalboho toe into the area.I had erased the entire thing from my memory. I went to take a few pictures of the farmers market and everything for the travel log keyed to this leg.

Life is just so strange lol.

I never came back lol. Never reported back. He’d told me to.

But it all came back.

And He was standing in the one booth that my particularly fashist ass was not going to be able to steer clear of, even though I tried to. My angels pointed and growled “that’s where you’re going .” I still circled around the entire thing before finally making my way back.

Dude was ensconced in ponchos, gorgeous ponchos made of alpaca and llama.

..and I could tell they were all like lovingly crafted and just warm and…and he had 2 tables piled high with alpaca blankets, with his balms and his jellies displayed with care…

and a little tray on top of the register for the Russian rouletters- that positioning and his beautiful energy ricocheting out the space were the only things that were the same as 5 years ago.

First thing he said to me was “wait- I think I know you… do I know you?”

and I like chuckled and waved It Off.

Let the past be the past.

I…Trust my angels.

So something Was gonna Be there for me.

Even my “oh, no the fuck we’re not ~” sector of my brain chilled.

He talked exuberantly about the bliss balms.

My guardian angels murmured “yer Tiger Balm is deep within the Wilds of Xanadu~”

I internally muttered back “helllllllll nah~” and kept chatting.

The one thatt reallllllllllly loves me pointed to the right and growled “happy birthday~

There they were.

Tha…Socks of socks I’ve run around looking for since Taos. I kept it together but my eyes… did get a bit teary lol.

“Give people a second chance,” my lead guardian whispered.

I beamed then joyfully fell into “but which onezzzzs?!lol”

I happily made my selection and just as I was about to leave he…handed me a sample of the bliss balm.

I thanked him and yowled “okokok- ” on other layers of reality then headed towards basecamp.

No joke- soon as I got in the building everything that’s been the physical therapy focus minus the 2 days nonstop in studio collectively went

“here’s your chance to see if it works~”

Mah whole body cried out.


The armor/veneer disintegrated in a blink and I felt all I’d been absently keeping at bay. Life is like that sometimes.

“not exactly ~”

I massaged it in…and it was like fn instant.

The now more supple fascias bowed and welcomed that balm in instantly, like it was a dignitary.

Purely kinesthetic so far.

Barely any forcibly sedating mental aberrations whatsoever…but I am watching my thoughts. & after guinea pigging I’ll give it a shout out, full stop.